A Letter from the Past

Dear FutureMe,


hi, kisha! today is may 1, 2026. first day of your birth month. it’s been a year already since i wrote myself a birthday message here. it was when i was 15, and now guess what? i’m turning 17 hahaha. time really flies pretty fast, doesn’t it? i thought before that i wouldn’t make it, but look at me now — still here, barely living, trying to survive. i didn’t know that i would make it this far. i mean, i’m still not that far, but yk? i am now far from what i used to be. the kisha, the girl that wanted to take her own life due to how cruel the world was towards her. i mean, there are still times that i wish myself to be d34d; yet i keep finding ways to show up and to fall in love with living, because honestly, i still want to live. i want to experience a lot of things in my life. i don’t want my life to be filled with pain, i want to enjoy it too. and i believe that i can, as long as i keep trying no matter how bumpy the road might get. and this is what i’m also grateful for, bcs i keep finding light even in the darkness. i keep finding things to look forward to, so that i wouldn’t get too drowned. i hope i won’t lose this spark. i hope i won’t lose my willingness to seek the light.

pagod na ako, oo. natatakot ako, oo. natatakot ako na baka hindi ko kayanin. natatakot ako na baka hindi ko magawang maging successful sa life kasi mayroong responsibility ang nakaabang sa’kin. i can’t afford to fail, i shouldn’t fail in life. kasi when i fail, hindi lang ako yung apektado. marami akong dapat gawin bago ang sarili ko. soo, if you’re reading this, to future me, future kisha, kumusta ka d’yan? hahaha. nakayanan mo ba? nappressure ka na naman uli ba? nag s-sh ka pa rin ba? nakatapos ka na ba ng shs? please, even if things might get difficult sometimes, don’t you ever try to end your chapter again, please? keep fighting, kisha. keep fighting for those people who need you. i believe that you can do it. kahit minsan mahirap maniwala, pero patuloy akong naniniwala sa’yo. so please, just keep on going. idk what to say right now since i just feel so empty. i want to cry, but i don’t know why i feel sad. i just feel the need to cry, yet i can’t haha. singit ko na lang din ‘to, ask ko lang din to future kisha na, how are you na d’yan? are you still with aj? kumusta kayo? kumusta na ang puso mo? does he finally pursue you? i hope he will finally see your worth. i hope you guys will end up with each other. i hope he will finally fix himself and act right since he finally realizes how worthy of a person you are. and if not, it’s not your loss. it will never be your loss. you are worth a dime, and they lost you. haha wala na akong masabi. i just hope that everything will fall into its place. i’m trusting myself, and i’m letting God do the rest. i love you, self! thank you for not giving up when the world was too heavy to bear. happy 17th birthday, kish.